Creator of Humorous Fake Steve Jobs Blog Calls New iPhone and Apple "Boring"

[dgstorm]

When should a company start thinking it might be in trouble? Your stock is through the roof. Your products are selling like hotcakes, and the newest one will likely shatter old/all sales records. You just scored a big legal victory against a worthy competitor in court. How on Earth could anything be wrong? Why would you ever think that?

Perhaps if one of your biggest fans suddenly starts calling you out as being "boring" it should be a wake-up call. That's exactly what just happened to Apple. Dan Lyons, just wrote an editorial today regarding the launch of the iPhone 5 and Apple in general. In that editorial he had several choice things to say about the direction of the company. In it he called the iPhone 5 boring, and even said that the company's former visionary CEO has been replaced by a number cruncher.

So, why should we care what Mr. Lyons had to say? Dan Lyons is a Newsweek editor and he also happens to be the same person that once operated the Fake Steve Jobs Blog. This was a humorous blog that was designed to pay tribute to Steve Jobs and Apple, and it was fairly influential for a while. Mr. Lyons eventually took the blog down out of respect for Steve Jobs once it was found out that he was sick. If you have ever read any of the blog, it was obvious that he had a deep respect and affection for Steve Jobs and the technical innovations he believed that Apple pioneered.

And now, he is obviously unhappy with how things are progressing over at Apple. Here's a few choice chunks of his editorial to give you the gist of what he thinks. Feel free to check out the whole thing at the source link below.

Now, having had two years to plot and scheme, Apple's renowned designer Jonathan Ive has replaced the tiny 3.5in (8.9cm) screen with a slightly-less-tiny 4in (10.2cm) screen? Wow. Knock me over with a feather. What do you do with the rest of your time, Jony?

This is what happens when a company is too cheap to invest in research and development. Did you know that Apple spends far less on R&D than any of its rivals - a paltry 2% of revenues, versus 14% for Google and Microsoft?

No wonder the Android platform, where new models appear every week, now represents 68% of the smartphone market, up from 47% a year ago, while Apple slid to 17% over the same period.

In case you're bad at maths, let me work that out for you: Android's market share is now four times that of Apple. Four times!

Worse, despite all its bluster about innovation, Apple has become a copycat, and not even a good one. Why is Apple making the iPhone bigger? To keep up with the top Android phones. Phones that, mind you, Apple fanboys ridiculed at first...

Apple got where it was by taking bold risks. Now it has become a company that copies others and plays it safe.

A company that once was run by a product visionary now is run by a number-cruncher - chief executive Tim Cook, whose claim to fame involves running an efficient supply chain and beating ever lower prices out of Asian subcontractors and component suppliers.

To use a car analogy, six years ago the iPhone was like a sexy new flagship model from BMW or Porsche. Today it's a Toyota Camry. Safe, reliable, boring. The car your mom drives. The car that's so popular that its maker doesn't dare mess with the formula.

The big $1bn (£650m) patent "victory" over Samsung made Apple look like a bully, and also raised awareness of how good Samsung's latest products are.

Apple seems less interested in blowing people away than it is in milking profit out of the existing lineup. At this Cook is doing marvellously well...

That's great for Apple's shareholders. But for customers, who cares? In terms of products, Apple has become the one thing it should never be. Apple has become boring.

Somewhere up there, I can hear Steve screaming.

It certainly seems like the last two iPhones are simply playing catch-up to Android now. Additionally, Apple is catching a ton of negative press lately. What do you guys think? Could the iPhone 5 be the last big hurrah of the iPhone line? Did Apple "jump the shark"?

Source: BBC

 

[tjk629]

I think if you're an iOS fan the iPhone 5 is exciting, but if you're not an iOS fan then there really isn't anything new or exciting with the iPhone 5. It's been around for at least two years already.

 

[MrBunster]

I really was looking forward to seeing what it was like. I wanted it to be pretty cool, but the article's right-it's just sorta boring.

 

[johnomaz]

Its all truth. He hit it right on the head. I lost interest in iOS over 2 years ago. Apple's last good innovation was with iOS5 and not having to ever connect to your computer again. But that was a blatant rip off of Android. The rest...useless crap and straight up copies.

 

[MissionImprobable]

Have to agree. The worst part of the reveal video was seeing the horribly dated iOS framework up there on the big screen. A year of development and you can't bother to make your UI look remotely modern? That weak blue and white should have been gone on the 4s and the fact that it's still around shows how lackluster Apple has become in its development. Windows 8 is not my cup of tea, but at least they're trying something new, and ICS and JB are great improvments over how stock Android used to look. You're dying a slow, sad death Apple. Get it together.

 

[xPlatinum-Androidx]

I'm not a fan of the iPhone but damn, they should at least added something cool like multi-color options. Get your Blue, or Red iPhone.

 

[Paul_Aris]

But the hardware design makes all brands of android phones like fisher price designed them. Also, maybe this guy had thing for Jobs and nobody else in his eyes will ever be as good.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using Tapatalk 2

 

[Caesars]

I think comparing apple to google is insane, sure apple has less share, they're also one company competing against everyone else. It will be a long time before any manufacturer out sells the iPhone. Things are going to balance out, in the end, apple is about profit, not releasing ten versions of the same phone per year.

Sent from my LG-AS680 using Tapatalk 2

 

[MissionImprobable]

A long time? Not so much. The Galaxy SIII has moved some more than respectable numbers and it's clear that the big OEMs have either now caught onto or been wise to for a little while that dumping device after device on the market is not the way to go. Have a few quality releases per year and sell your old hardware at discount or release well-built mid-tier devices to begin with for those who have a budget. Apple better step it up soon and very soon.

 

[Dave12308]

I called the iPhone 5 a fail the minute I saw the announcement, and saw how they enlarged the screen. Not even close to a standard aspect ratio, and until apps are optimized it sounds like they will have to run in letterboxed mode, meaning that you are effectively back to a 3.5" screen. I did LOL when I noticed the SCREEN on the GS3 is as big as the entire iPhone 4S in the picture. Now THAT'S a screen worth talking about.

 

[Dave12308]

I'm not a fan of the iPhone but damn, they should at least added something cool like multi-color options. Get your Blue, or Red iPhone.

Yeah, odd that they add those options to the iPod Touch line, but not the iPhone.

 

[Dave12308]

I think if you're an iOS fan the iPhone 5 is exciting, but if you're not an iOS fan then there really isn't anything new or exciting with the iPhone 5. It's been around for at least two years already.

I think the point of the article is that even as a true iOS fan, "Fake Steve Jobs" was underwhelmed by the product. I do, however, see ONE truly exciting thing about the iPhone 5 (from a hardware standpoint). From all indications, it is the first device to hit the market to have CPU cores based on the ARM Cortex A15 design. Which IS a big deal, since it means they beat the other major SoC makers to the market with A15. Samsung didn't even use an A15 based SoC on their OWN Galaxy S3.

 

[droidbionicmaster]

Hmmm looks like the 4 to me. So the put a 5 on it and said their the iPhone 5

 

[Escobar]

I'm so happy they blew it. No HD, one gb of RAM, small, awkward screen, no NFC. They couldn't even play catch up right. They're like the Cowboys. They used to be good, but now no one likes them and their fans are annoying as hell. And as long as they keep their current system and staff, they'll never be on top again. And the iPhone is like call of duty. Every year a new one is released with just the slightest change from the year before it and every year you think, wow I'm disappointed that I bought/got excited about this.

 

[BenLand150]

To me, it's starting to be like RIM. If you owned a smartphone, you owned a Black Berry. On top of the world.. and then innovation just stops. Alsas, it's time for the fall of Apple!

A new era is beginning! We shall be under the rule of Scar!

...

Got carried away with some Lion King influenced stuff..

Regardless.. Android FTW.