Wouldn't System Panel be a good app to find Rouge apps? It's got a really neat history feature...
https://market.android.com/details?...1bGwsMSwxLDEsIm5leHRhcHAuc3lzdGVtcGFuZWwiXQ..
EDIT: I just installed it and 100% changed my mind. This app is EXACTLY what you need. The historical memory consumption is a paid-only feature, but current use is probably enough for solving your problem.
I just installed it and it comes up to show applications that are "Active", "Service-Only", and "Inactive".
Ignore the "Inactive", as they taking up space in memory just because memory happens to have space (cached) - they will be kicked out as soon as you need the space.
"Active" applications should pretty much just include the Launcher and the app you are currently in (SystemPanel Lite)
"Service-Only" is where you'll find a lot of surprises. Things sitting in memory, claiming that they have to stay in memory and use CPU for some reason.
Some interesting processes running on my Nexus:
Amazon AppStore - taking up 26mb, probably so that it can automatically notify of updates. That's 26mb I'll never get back
LightFlow - Taking up 26mb as well. That's providing a useful service, but 26mb seems like a lot to make an LED light up.
Facebook Messenger - 28.1MB
Pure calendar Widget - 24.0MB
Rocket Bunnies - 23.7MB. RocketBunnies is a GAME. What is it doing in memory? I'm not playing it. I guess I'm uninstalling it now. (It is a fun game, but there's no reason for it to have a service)
Swype - 41.8MB. Yep, the keyboard takes up a lot of memory
Volume+ - 24.0MB. How much do you want volume?
Active: 81MB
Service-Only: 417.2MB
And this is when I'm not doing anything at all with the phone. Just sitting idle, I'm using more than twice the ram than my Motorola Droid even had available. Add a few more rogue apps and that number will creep up and become larger than the total memory - services and foreground apps (like the launcher) will swap in and out of memory, causing delays when you hit home when it has to restart launcher.