I hear you on the double speak from vzw.
Now something really wierd is happening my wifes phone is allowing DL again from the Market but she actually got a notifcation on her phone that google maps has an update and mototorch (which is an led flash light) why did she get that and I didnt get an uodate?
Notification of Updates is not a "push" item... it is a polling, and is a function of the Marketplace (as it works the same on the G1)... even when there are updates there, not every phone will "catch" it right away. I will periodically go to view the downloaded apps page, as that will show you what updates are available, even if you haven't actually gotten the notification.
Yes, I know this sounds "buggy" and probably is... but really is a small one. Eventually you will get notified... or you can just check for updates.