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i gave up, i have that extra security layer on my fb that requires fb to text me a passcode whenever i add a new device or application...they never sent it for my droid 3 so i gave up.
i had this same problem and did not see any option to re sync my facebook contacts. so what i ended up doing was going through my contact list and made sure all of my contacts were named correctly (matched the facebook contact) then i went and deleted the facebook account from my phone and then readded it. all the contacts sync'd up and all is good now.
for people having problems with using the correct picture, you can edit your contact and select teh picture that you want to use. you'll be prompted if you want to use that pic from now on and that's it.
there's also the join and separate functions from within a contact if FB messes up a contact, etc.
I had a similar problem, except backwards. I had a Thomas and Tommy, and my phone would not keep the two separate! Even when I used their different last names. Yet two Jenny's with different last names stayed apart just fine.
Sorry, that had nothing to do with the FB app sync. I used that once and had multiple contacts of the same name that would not merge, and contact pics with the little f icon just annoyed me. I didn't mind the extra work of copying their info from FB and adding into my Google contacts and synced THAT to my phone