Droidnought
Member
Did you try B-Folders? It uses a password protected, encrypted, database. It has a built-in Contacts section that includes the usual contact information plus has a separate Notes page associated with each contact. You can dial directly from it, bypassing the normal Droid/Google Contact app. From your description, I believe it would do just about everything you mention except self-destruct after theft. I believe there are other apps that will do that to the whole phone.Imagine, someone calls in crisis and is suicidal - I'm gonna want to have their address and their emergency contact person's info ready to hand.
I'm not associated with B-Folders, I just think it is worth looking at for contact list security on the Droid.
Wally