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I had an issues with joining contacts too but I found a solution joining Facebook with regular contacts. Here's what I did:
1. Select contact you want to join (NOT the Facebook contact)
2. Edit that contact
3. CHANGE that contacts name COMEPLETELY.
Ex) "John Smith" gets changed to "fjgjgv ekvjgf". (It doesn't matter what the contacts name gets changed to. It will only be temporary)
4) Click done (It will save the contact info under the new temporary name)
5) Navigate to the temporary contact and edit it again.
6) In edit you may NOW join the the contact with whatever contact you want (In this case you will be joining it with the proper Facebook contact you want.)
7) After joining the contact you want, go to the temporary name and change it back to the original name.
There you go. I hope this helps anyone that wants to sync their contacts with facebook contacts. I apologize if anything is unclear. I am typing all this on my Droid so bare with me. If you have questions or a certain step was unclear, feel free to ask =)
You can also do it manually by opening the facebook app, then going into your friends list. Click the picture of the friend you want to sync with your contact and an edit contact icon should appear over their head (among other icons). Once there open the menu and you should be able to "join" the profile with one of your already existing contacts. Hopefully a software update will fix this so you wont have to constantly do this anymore. Hope this helps
It's dumb how there system works. Rather than going by the name how about going by their email so no matter how many times they change their name it will change in the phone because it's link to the account email not name. They really should think about that.