You think your cousin story is bad, I think ive got you beat. I was trying to be a good elf and help put together my little cousin's tool bench from santa. I was trying to cut a wire twist thing off of the back with a sharp pocket knife when all of a sudden the knife went through my finger, in one side and out the other. I got very lucky that it is not my domant hand and that I only needed 4 stitches, 3 on one side and 1 on the other. It was a great way to start out christmas. Here is a pic of what my finger looked like 2 minutes after it happened. Its not for the squeamish. There is blood and fat visible:
Pic of cut finger