I hope I'm being considerate and not a total jackass, but I also posted at androidforums.com. I couldn't find anything about double-posting in the rules so hopefully this isn't an etiquette violation, but I wanted to broaden my approach since I haven't solved the problem yet. If I get a solution from either forum I will cross-post to the other. Thanks all for your suggestions thus far; please don't take it personally but I'm freaking out a bit over having broken my $600+ device.