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I had the same wifi symptoms. Gray connection icon but it never went blue to show data transfer. For whatever reason, the phone default was a static IP that would not work with my routers. I just turned on the "Enable Auto IP" option (DHCP) and it connected fine. Hope this helps!
menu -> settings -> wireless & networks -> wifi settings -> menu button -> advanced -> check Enable Auto IP
Menu - Settings - Wireless and networks - Wi-Fi Settings - Manage Networks. Once there I chose the network I was trying to connect to, and did a long press on the network name. I then chose "Proxy settings" and unchecked "use proxy server". After that everything worked fine.
I've tried this when trying to connect to two other networks, and it has worked each time. Only time will tell if this fix lasts.