Got one! With a neat little story to boot.
As I posted earlier, I called my local corporate store and they said not only did they have none, but there were none within 500 miles. Come to find out later, of course, this is simply because they can't look up stock. Once I found that out, I called the corporate store about twenty minutes from me. They didn't have any either.
I had pretty much given up all hope, but when I got home from work, I remembered that my dad was up north for the night for work. I looked up the area, and found that there was one Verizon corporate store up there (this town literally extends the furthest reaches of Verizon's US coverage, it's just miles from the Canadian border). Gave them a call, and after about twenty minutes of research, the guy working called me back and told me he did, in fact, have two out back. I had them bill it to my account and my dad went and picked it up for me on his way to his hotel.
About a half hour later, the guy I spoke to from the local store called me back and said he found just one out back and he had set it aside for me. Needless to say, I went through the whole process with the other store for nothing, as I could have gotten it right here anyway, but oh well. Nice of the guy to call back instead of keeping it for himself or another employee, I thanked him for thinking of me and calling back and explained to him what I had done.
Granted, the work on commission and he was just trying to make the sale, but regardless, it was a nice gesture. Will have one of these things in my hands tomorrow!