Speak from experience? You really should not make assumptions about the Devs who make the ROMs without seeing and using their work. You say everyone building AOSP sucks yet you have only flashed 2 ROMs. You can't say ice cream sucks because you tried 2 flavors and they all were bad. Instead of being negative about how bad the ROMs are you can 1.) make something better or 2.) actually try the ROMs.
AOKP for example has so many features stuffed in, you cannot in your right mind say that Roman is a bad dev. Rootzboat's Xoomdev is the same way. Go try something before you make these assumptions. Also - the phone has been out 5 weeks. Devs can only work so fast.
TBH I really don't see much difference in the features of all these roms, and the "tweaks" are minor at best. Nothing stands out over the other guy. Unfortunately i believe axiom would wipe the floor clean if DT still developed. I have flashed everything available and nothing is as smooth or stable as axiom which is already a month old. For my personal preference, I place smooth ui above all else.
Now, gnex development is in its infancy so obviously we aren't going to see completely changing roms like we did for the d1 and dx, it'll come though. I'm sure most developers are waiting for 4.1.0.
At this rate it might be awhile....
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